Reading my own blog,
Is such a torture. First there is my lousy typing and editing, and then there is my long-winded way of writing prose which is incoherent to say the least. Back in the old the school master would have forced me to rewrite my essays until I have gotten all my spelling and grammar correct. Ah the joys and pains of the odl days. Also after a while you will realise that some of the things you say are quite ignorant and daft but I guess we are always learning and can't have perfect knowledge of everything and make the correct judgement all the time.
That is why we should always have principles that has proven to work for the past two thousand years and also learn from other people's mistakes and experiences. He is wise who learn from experience but even wiser who learn from the experience of others. Because of this I enjoy reading the life stories of other people and of course the Bible which for all its errors and inconsistencies has proven to be quite a remarkable book, in fact miraculous and its principles still apply for today. There are contentious amd controversial points like is Saint Paul a misogynist and women's role in the church but that does not negate its power in anyway if one honestly read throught the WHOLE Bible. The very error and inconsistency is what prove to be a genuine human document of God's dealings with Mankind but because of that one has to read the whole thing to understand what is principle and what was clearly a compromise like divorce in the Pentateuch and also the election of a king in Israel. There isn't enough space for me here and I am lazy to type out everything but let me assure you that the Bible is one book you can't do without.

Here in Penang Medical College,
The lot of us, yes all 101 of us, are divided into twelve groups. And these twelve groups goes to the Accident and Emergency department every two weeks to observe the going ons in there.
Last night was my group's turn. I went to get some money, crossed a busy road, bought some credit for my handphone, had dinner at Rawther's. He has started opening up to midnight and sells dinner where before he only do breakfast and lunch. Had some nasi minyak with mutton kurma with chapati and kima. drank a glass of air bandung( Bandung is a town in Indonesia, the drink is actually just condense milk mix with syrup.
As I walk into the hospital back gate I can hear the wail of the siren. Interesting night this is going to be. As I walk past the acute emergency room there was a guy lying there. Nothing special. Only later I learnt he had multiple compound fractures which caused me to venture for a second look but by then it was already covered by the piece of sterile cloth.
There was no going ons so I went to the other A&E room. It was the usual stuff. Asthma, a nick here and there. Then a group of guys went for dinner and I followed them.
ANyway I am boring even myself. The guy have to have an emergency amputation. So we were there looking at the slicing by the surgeon, smelling the burning flesh and slash and dosh of the sucker and instruments beign passed around. It was interesting until you realise that the person will never use the leg again and he is only 22 years old. I can imagine him lasying football with his friends and now longer able to join he just drifts away from them. How will he react when he regains consciousness. What about the family? Is he the only that the whole family has put their hopes on? I am sure his parents will be glad that he is alive but ten twenty thirty years down the line who will take care of him? Will he marry? Or will be forever lonely knowing that the only reason is that he only has one leg and can barely support himself?
I can never understand the pain he will go through because I don't I will ever go through a fraction of what and I don't plan to and I pray I don't have to. I am the scion of of the middle class, with enough money to pay for a private medical education. Am I not privilege. But I am too self-absorbed.
The fact is I will be back later. Got something to do.

As I walked home on Sunday,
I looked back and though the sun has set of it rays were still being reflected on a tall cumulus cloud. Majestic was the description. For a moment i can see th big picture and then when I reached home and had my bath, I lost it and began concentrating on my pathetic little self and whining about my loneliness. In this world there are literally billions less fortunate than me and yet for a moment I lose sight of how truly blessed I am and my vision tunneled where just moments before I was looking at the majestic sky speckled with birds tired from a had days work scavenging and going to the nest to feed the brood. Feeling the slight breeze from passing vehicles, the sight of their drivers not knowing but only speculating the thousand stories of joy and tragedy, of love and romance and how every single thing is interconnected and somehow some hwere in the world we know someone who knows this other person and through this person and so on we connected to everyone, and ancestors whom we never knew may have crossed each other paths by marriage, war and trade. Oh to know the story of every living person on earth and the stories they never knew themselves. The well-traveled asphalt laid over many times. The smell of figs and jittery shadow of the flitting bat darting in and out of sight guided by none but the sweet scent of the mango blossoms blooming beneath the moonlight of a night as hot and humid as humid as any summer in Dublin.
Life is beautiful but still why do I want pity?

Dear anonymous,
Thanks for the comment. I get that only very rarely so you don't how much it means to me. But more important than being read and given a comment is that I hope someone will practise my ideas.
Marx never achieved anything except writing a few books that weren't even that widely-read or considered best-sellers. But people who bought his ideas changed the lives of billions. Unlike Marx I hope my ideas will be a force for good.
If any case there is no one to practise I then must be the one to do it. Even if I do that fear not for the loss of idea-man for most of my ideas aren't orignal but are rather derived from an umcompromising reading of the Bible. Read the Bible. It is the one book that does not contain everything but enough of everything to amke this world tolerable.

Anyone familiar with the concept of total war?
Well it is commitment of all its resources, time and manpower of a nation to ensure its victory.
Christians have a more important enterprise...to ensure that everyone hears of the love of God through Jesus Chirist and receive a taste of that love through grace-empowered and love-compelled Christians....why aren't we pouring all resources into it instead of church buildings?
This enterprise is a bit like war..God can do so much of the fighting but a lot of it is up to us.....the US can overthrow Saddam and give the Iraqi people a chance to build a democratic and free nation...but it is up to them to do it but they can also choose to take vengeance and plunge the nation into darkness again...more important than a democratic and free society..though especially the free is important in the spread of the Gospel..is people hearing it...
Personally I am too afraid to do street evangelism but I know I have enough guts and detached enough from the world to work some rural areas...and there be the hands and feet of Christ..
I feel uncomfortable with prosperity gospel in many curches..God blesses but is it not so it can go into the total war effort and not the new church building?

Revelations tell us how it will be,
But we are the ones who will determine the details...whether in the end it will the majority persecuting a minority or the minority persecuting a Christian majority...we decide by what we do today...that is why feel it is so vague but very clear about the conclusions.

I have a fascination with cemeteries,
I like reading the epitaphs on the Western..you learned how long they lived and tragically short it is.....I saw this once..the mother died a few days after giving to the baby and the baby followed a few days too..this was in Ireland....it doesn't happen there any more...but it still does in the rest of the world...she was only about 20 or so....I am 23..glad to be alive though I am single...saw this one in Cheras this lady lived till a 106...long or short God determines it...we can't say that God was unfair..because of a short the person..missed out on more misery...lived till a hundred you could have sepnt 50 years of it in misery...sometimes I wonder about the victims of the Japanese who were tortured to death....sure death was a respite but did they really wanted to die...would it have been worse if they survived and have to live with memory of dead friends for the rest of their lives...some of us would like to live when actually it would be better for us to be dead..and the other way round...I am glad my life is in God's hands..so I don't have make the decision and mess it up..at least you know it is int he hands of the omniscient one..or ctnically who to blame.....but don't go quoting this at a funeral...they don't needd answers or rationale just a warm hug, listening ear, and a shoulder to cry on until the grief is over...and soon people will get over it and accept the fact...widows and widowers remarry....not that they don't love the decease anymore but people move on. No one love a person that much that will cry everyday for the next 50 years. ..we are only human....in that situation though you would think you can cry forever..but the truth....
Accept death and live life to the fullest..and love all who are alive.

I think I will reutrn to the days of regular blogging,
Been having a lot of ideas lately but then some of them are pretty long and I don't have the time but these are only excuses so I am back or try to be back.
First up, about a patinet I saw in the ward. He was in the British Army escaped into the jungles when the British was defeated. Got strafe by Japanese planes. Showed me his wound. Since then he has never been to hospital. He is 81 now and so for the pass 60 years he was fine until now when he is diagnosed with can cer of the ascending colon. Don't know if he will make it but even if he does..most definitely he will need a colostomy bag which is quite psychologically debilatating..imagine to survive so much only to be down by cancer.
Even as I reflect on his situation, one thing is sure: nothing in life is guaranteed. IT may be your wedding day and you are finally going to get what you have been waiting for and then you get killed on the way to the wedding. Those people that you see get killed in accidents with their blank stares looking out of the papers...well they never thought they would appeared as news when they read about a fatal accident the day before....people in New Orleans collected money for tsunami victims not knowing of the great floods that hit them.
Appreciate each day you have. If you feel bored you are not using the gift God has given you..you are taking life for granted.
The people in Noah's days were getting married and getting on with life when the flood came..imagine drowning on your wedding day..OK I am obssessed aabout getting married but..my ideas are relevant..no one expect that it will change..that it won't be same as it had happen for the pass 100 years.
Us Malaysians live a prosperous life especially the middle-class and beyond. Your typical teenager can expect to finish school, go to college, drink at Starbucks, go to some uni overseas, come back get a job, meet someone, get married and knocked someone up or get knocked up or the other way round...and go on living as they have lived....oblivious as they are to the poor and suffering all around the world..and even closer to home the Orang Aslis..but it is not going to last forever..war is going happen one day...Orang Aslis are going to decide one day that they have enough of being treated like second calss citizens and start launching suicide bombs, China with its excess men will need to blow off the energy and invades Taiwan and plunges the whole region into chaos...1930's was one the most prosperous times in Europe...culture was at its height...everyone can be said to be living a decadent life and then bang world war 2..and many years of hard rebuilding..
we should live our lives carefully..ready for life's uncertainty but not to the extent we don't enjoy anything..but when it happens we can't we never thought it woulod because as history, the Bible, logic, science, economics and everything tells us the good times won't go on forever.
Thinking about buying a house and car..live simply..if you are going to have only two kids....a simple double storey will do and Wira..no need fro the Mercedes and bungalow..because when war comes ..will it matter.no difference except you spent your whole life working to the bone paying for that big house when you could have spent more time with your family if you went for a smaller one and it is all wasted by one bomb, or storm, or vandal..when you are starving..you wouldn't care you ahve a mercedes or not....when you are dying of cancer..you won't care about the car you never had but the lost friendships and relationships.
In short, some things are important but we don't like they are and we chase after those that aren't only to regret later.