26 Feb 2007

What pretty girls should do.

Just to let you know I am not one,
But I have experiences with many as in I have been rejected by many a pretty girls. We all know the rigmarole of rejection which is once the girl knows she turns nasty. I understand they have the guy's best interest at heart as they want to help the guy get over them but I feel it is a waste of many a friendship especially if the guy is going to be a somebody one day. The following advice will only be of benefit to a small minority of girls.
Experience states that most girls will probably have at most two or three guys interested in them in their whole lives. A smaller group will have a long list of guys who will be nobodies and even smaller group will have nobody. But the group I am talking to are the ones whose list of "guys who have ever liked them" reads like a Who's Who list.
The fact is you won't know who will be somebody so you might as well play safe. So when rejecting a guy use the "Helen of Troy method". If it is good enough for the most beautiful woman ever it is good enough for any girl.
The first step is to be calm when the guy declares his undying love no matter how geeky he is because he might be controlling the most powerful army in the world in thirty years time. Second, go straight to the point tell him you don't share the same feelings. Third use the Helen of Troy method which will give him a ray of hope while preventing misunderstanding and this will definitely save the friendship. What is the Helen of Troy Method?
Well basically it makes use of the fact when the guy is in love with a girl it is almost impossible to make him hate you even when rejected though this last for about five minutes so strike while the iron is hot. Tell him that if he truly loves you then he will respect you enough to honour her choice and here is the killer: make him swear an oath of allegiance to protect your honour and the man who will be your husband. Most real guys who like the girl enough will do it without thinking twice. So there you get to keep a friend and make a potentially very very powerful ally.
So if your husband cheat on you twenty years down the line invoke the oath and watch the now-powerful men (Prime Ministers, warlords) give you sweet revenge as they rip the flesh of your husband's bones and his mistress with meat hooks with no repercussions. If they refuse to honour the oath shoot back by saying "I am glad I rejected thee for if thou art unable to uphold an oath of allegiance what more a vow of marriage". He will be doing your bidding in no time.
Finally never berate the guy, never shout at him, never ever be mean because the Helen of Troy method not only save your life from future powerful rejectees but also give you all their combined powers.
p.s. This only work if the sum total of the pwoers of all the guys who ever went after you are greater than that of your spouse.

3 comments:

yewleung said...

WAHAHAA.. i could hear the tone of ur voice in side of my head..

AHHHHHH
" GETT IT OUT GETT IT OUT !! "

my.. head... arg...

kof.. hahaha.. u trying to say u will become powerful next time lah..

oooooo hail the great and mighty one!

Anonymous said...

i like that post. pity i wasnt one of those girls...good too see u are thinking on both sides of the coin. haha...take care. catch up with u when i return to malaysia. Cheers

Tan said...

aww...come on..no need to be modest...we know you were one of those girls in DJ....unfortunately...some of the guys after you weren't exactly Menalaus..or Paris:)

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