Exams are in five days time but I haven't blogged in a while,
Many ideas are running through my head yet the pressure of exams, the need to study, guilt for not studying enough, depression from not studying, lack of mood to study, and one and hundred one excuses prarlyse me from blogging and in the end no study gets done. IT always happen to me towards the exams: The need to study arises, I head to the on-line notes, I get depress, I don't study instead I waste my time on blogs and surfing the net, nomstudy gets done, guilt arises, even more depression, even less study and so goes the vicious cycle. I am sure many people can realte to this...heck if some one finds the cure to this mental disorder..yes it is one...why? First there is the characteristic self-destructive behaviour, symptoms similar to depression...well some people will call it laziness and slothfulness..so whether mental disorder or slothfulness if someone can find the cure, most people in the class will scoring over 80% and they will have to bring up the standard to separate the first class honours and the second. It is my observation that I am not the only affected by it.
What makes us sad, not emotionally sad but behaviourably? I would say boredom has something to with it. I marvel that some people can sit at the same place everyday and put in countless hours duplicating sections from different books, books of the most viscous prose and in effect like an amanuensis reproducing those books except these books are now incorporated and its material organised into one called the 'Student's Notes'. I for the life in me can't even be bothered to take notes in class let alone 'make notes' in the above-mentioned method....though I would argue that this is not making notes as the material and knowledge to be gleaned is not organised or rewritten in the students own words and thus signal a certain amount of understanding but rather it is copied and memorised wholesale...so I read from the online notes which again are the power-point presentations of the lectures and represent the bare minimum but the problem that it is online and I tempted to check my mail box to see if there is mail, my blog to see if there are comments and the weblog community of which I am part of and read the comments of the news items, and so very little study is done and again I lapse into the vicious cycle.
Another unwanted effect is not only am I paralysed mentally but socially as I start skipping my commitments like Kidz Klub( I am skipping the club as I write this) so as to get more time and to make for that which was lost and yet it is in vain as I again lapse into the same self-destructive pattern. Maybe I should go to the library to study.
2 comments:
Ah, greetings. :-) I hope you don’t mind my ‘footprints’ on your clean rug…so here’re my 2 and a half shillings worth of thoughts. What you wrote was something that I can relate to….and so can almost every other exam candidate – that I do not doubt. Forgive me if I misinterpreted your words, but do my eyes tell me that you’re behaviourably (excuse the spelling) sad? What is that? You mean, as in displaying morose behaviour, looking miserable, feeling like you’re at the height of despondency, but in actuality, you’re not ‘emotionally sad’? Or am I wrong? I am intrigued. Very much so. *nods nods* You know, when I see my pals devour 600-page thick abominations (i.e. textbooks), I feel really guilty. Like I, too should pore over some boring reference book with TINY script, just for the heck of it. But you know what? We humans are beautifully diversified – some might need to do novel-length ‘Student Notes’, but others might breeze through their exams even though all they did was last minute studying. Point is, the amount of time that should be allocated to studying differs from one individual to another. If coming online to blog and check your mail and do whatever that you do doesn’t affect your grades, then, please, please don’t let guilt cannibalize you every time you come online. =P
And yeah, it’s true that we’re prone to suicidal behaviour when exams are approaching. Suicidal to the grades, that is. :-) There seem to be something about the exams season that makes me want to write songs, poetry, stories, blog, draw, and do all sort of junk. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s just the brain trying to deny that nightmare hath cometh…..
very good post. thought provoking. but i won't call it a mental disorder just yet, and I'll explain why. but maybe i should blog on it soon eh? you take care there...don't be too depressed. think of the most beautiful girl you know and most likely, you'll feel better already. ahaha.... God bless you, buddy! -Serena-
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